I Want To Look Like The Cool Lady

BeanPole is having a pre-teen crisis. I apparently have the beginnings of an angsty tween on my hands and its all about her special style. In recent weeks, we’ve had to have ‘the talk’ about double denim, and she’s now starting to take style direction from her mother, which is frankly dangerous.

She has decided that she is ‘alternative’ and wants to dress her way, or rather the way she has decided is cool rather than the standard fashionable stuff for kids (I’m totally up for this). Cue 8 yr old pulling teenage pose…


This also means that our current preparations for the new school year are now hindered by her inner need to be immensely cool and school uniform adjustments are being demanded. Luckily (for her, not me) their school uniform is a guideline rather than a strict adherence to specific clothing. Although while more expensive, it would certainly cause me less heartache. So instead we have commenced the ‘I want to wear shorts and tights’ argument along with the ‘I need a slouchy cardigan rather than a back to school one’. Slouchy? Ahh. You mean a chunky knit, rather than the standard school issue one. Really? You’re nearly 9! I had reckoned on a few more years!


I can see her point. Her version is more stylish, but it’s for SCHOOL! I think I may have found an issue with having my own oddball sense of style.

Then came the glasses. The kid needs them, and the NHS will fund a certain amount. But she has a rather large head and as such needs ladies glasses. And the kid did her research. Not by looking at her peers, not by taking hints from pop stars (I’m actually quite proud of that), but by trawling through my WordPress reader and coming across the Goodnight Mush blog. On there she caught sight of a lady named Jill and made the decision that she exuded cool from every pore and must have her glasses. Im hoping that this woman that we have never met, but who is now influencing my baby’s self image sees this imitation as flattery rather than all a bit creepy! We ended up with something very similar, although they are full rims as her right eye requires something akin to a bottle in thickness and an ongoing argument over her not being able to maintain a Betty Page fringe (I do from September to about Easter, then get lazy and grow it out over the summer).

So what do I do with a kid who is fighting for her identity? I make a list.

I will – Let her adapt her uniform mildly – she can have shorts. The cardigans will be a compromise.

I will not – Buy her DM boots for school (mainly because they’re £90!)

I will – (and have) cut her hair into a more grown up style with some feathering and a bit of an emo fringe.

I will not – allow make up under any circumstances. No way. Not yet.

I will – apparently part with £75 for the ‘right’ glasses.

I will not – try to make her change her style unless it’s inappropriate for her age. I’m actually quite proud that she wants to be individual.

I may need to apologize to women thousands of miles away for my child obsessing over their fashion choices.

I may also need to take a trip to the Laines in Brighton with her. She and I need to do some shopping.