My Ruby Slippers Are Defective


  • I didn’t want to move when I woke up in Dante’s 7th circle of joint pain hell.
  • I didn’t want to keep down breakfast
  • I didn’t want to sit in the car for 3 1/2 hours to Calais
  • I didn’t want to wake up regularly gasping as we braked & my back flew into spasm
  • I objected to paying extortionate prices for toll roads that had appalling service stops 
  • I didn’t want to lay curved into a contorted angle on the train whilst it rocked me side to side & scattered my ribs
  • I didn’t want to remain in the car for a further 2 hours to drive home (see waking up above)

I didn’t want to travel on a flare day. But I did. And now I’m home in our bed set up just for us having had a bath in my lovely accessible bathroom and a cuddle with the cats. 

There’s no place like home.

What made me flare so badly today? It was a combination of being in the car the previous day for nigh on 6 hours, then staying in the worst hotel we’d ever booked. The Sejours & Affaires clairemarias in Reims.

Here is the brochure photo of the 1 bedroom apartment from – this is clearly listed under “facilities for disabled guests”.

And another of the kitchenette

So, we were expecting basic, but clean and functional as a stopover. This was billed as a wheelchair accessible apartment which we double checked by email & relieved confirmation of – this roughly translates to “is on the ground floor & has no stairs”.

This is my photo:

Aside from smelling distinctly of the goat farm (?!), the wall paint was peeling, the cabinets were grubby & the kitchenette and general location reminded me of when Mr Geek & I shared a student flat. In its favour, the WiFi was excellent (so, yes, very much like our flat). We slept on the metal sofa bed which had a mattress approximately the depth of a Kardashian which promptly instigated my shoulder coming out as I turned, my pelvis twisting, & a nasty clunk in my neck that made my hand go tingly. I eventually fell asleep laying flat on my back with my legs in a full lotus to lock my hips in place.
My magic touch with hotels was missing on this one. By the next morning, I wanted my Ruby Slippers. 

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