“Urgh, my back is killing me” mutters a colleague as they stomp across our office rubbing her lower back. The guy I share desk space with visibly cringes and looks at me. Bless him – he’s in his own world of back pain but barely mentions it. He sees quite often first hand me returning from class white faced & pursed lipped as I struggle to maintain the air of someone who’s totally coping with life despite landing in a wheelchair and eating more painkillers than food at lunch.
Today has been a brilliant day. I’ve been a proper mum with the kids, but am suffering for other now by being awake & in more pain than my drugs can attend to. One of my goals this summer is to implement pacing. But do it properly, not just acknowledge I have limited spoons, then throw the whole cutlery drawer at each day. Clear project management is required here.
So what is pacing and why do I need it?
So, imagine you have a baseline which is perhaps laying in bed resting, you can perform an activity within your personal limits then will need some inactive time to follow it. There will be a period of overload because either you’ve tried to do something beyond your energy / physical capabilities or you’ve carried on with a standard activity for too long without a rest. So just like in physics, every action has an equal reaction.
I need to work out how my day at work looks in chart form to see how my pacing is going.
On an average day I’m bouncing above that overload line a lot & also not building in any proper recovery time. I’m also packing in more than an able bodied person could realistically contend with regularly. I’m not giving any leeway to accommodate being in pain. So, I need to attack this the only way I know how, and that’s with a list. That list will contain all the tasks for tomorrow and then I’m going to prioritise them and build in rest breaks (I’m doing this now as I have control over my day which I don’t at work. That’s a different conversation & one I am going to have to have with OH sooner than I’d like). So tomorrow , or technically today as it’s 2am:
- Get dressed
- Get downstairs
- Teeth / hair
- Hair cut
- Dye hair
- Wheelchair racing
- Pre-holiday visit to inlaws
- Buy physio tape, calpol, blister plasters
- Pack for holibobs
- Print out letters / tickets for holiday folder
- Tidy room
- Eat dinner
- Get up to bed
Oh holy hell. That’s not a restful day before heading out! Almost everything on that list needs to be ddone due to imminent departure on our road trip on Sunday morning. Wheelchair racing is the only nice to have on there & TBH, it’s my last session for 2 weeks and it does me so much good (physically & mentally).
Ok, so let’s add priority:
- M- must
- NTH – nice to have
- CD – could delegate
- OTL – off the list
- Get dressed – M
- Get downstairs – M
- Teeth / hair – M
- Hair cut – NTH
- Dye hair – NTH
- Wheelchair racing – M
- Pre-holiday visit to inlaws – M
- Buy physio tape, calpol, blister plasters – CD
- Lunch – M
- Pack for holibobs – CD
- Print out letters / tickets for holiday folder – CD
- Tidy room – NTH
- Eat dinner – M
- Get up to bed – Massive
See how cleaning up hit the bottom of the list there? My mum would flip if she saw that!
CDC sadly falls on the shoulders of Mr Geek & the kids, but I feel a little less guilty having braced myself and bulldozed my way through a whole week of him commuting to London (or from our perspective, not being there to get me out of the house & not getting back until after 7pm). It’s his first week at New Job which he is absolutely loving, but fuck me that was blindingly hard. I didn’t want to worry him, so slapped my happy work face on. I’m paying for it now though with bones cracking as I breathe & thudding palpitations waking me each time I doze off.
My plan is to use this priority list tomorrow & see how it goes. If anything gets added to the list, I’ll note it down to see how I’m undermining my own paving without realising. The “oh I’ll just…” moments.
Wish me luck!
How would’ve you organised my list? Let me know how you prioritise your to do list. Is there an app for this?