#touchyourselftonight … Go on. It’s important.

Who better than to tell you to have a crafty wank all in the name of preventing cancer? It’s not going to get better than Deadpool. It’s like public health and back story in one!

Whilst you’re at it, do ensure the ladies are making an inspection of their curvy bits too… Unless you get to do that too. You know, in a totally selfless way (bonus!). I’m not ashamed to say I wouldn’t mind being checked over by the lord of spandex.

The marketing for Deadpool is genius. We’ve booked tickets for Valentines because we’re just that romantic. There’s something about him that reminds me of Mr Geek…

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I’m always a sucker for the bad guy (cue crush on Sabertooth instead of Wolverine, Harley Quinn instead of Batman (or girl), Moriarty instead of Sherlock). And now along comes Deadpool with his avacardo face, sense of humour and wild inappropriateness that holds a mirror up to that absolute dude* who snagged me with forever jewellery.

Only 2 1/2 weeks to go! Until then, try to do that sort of thing in private. On the bus is going to get you in trouble.

* I should mention that Mr Geek neither resembles fruit, nor has any terrible disfigurement. He is cringeworthy in his appropriateness though.

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