I have so much to write about & my loooong blog about last weekend away with people really is underway. But I’ve been meaning to tackle something for a while now.
I’ve spent the past 20 years + being defined by my hair. For the past 6 years, I’ve been a trademark red going from a subtle mahogany to outright fuck me post box red. I prefer the latter. Before then, there was a phase of pink & green combo (I was even on Google earth with that!), and my wonderful long dreads during university.
Red hair has definitely been my defining feature, even going back some years. (It also dawned on me that I pout a lot at cameras, and was clearly raised on MySpace)
My earlier dabbling with funky hair produced some finer moments of colour (National Trust excursions got some excellent looks. Especially as I was also making my own clothes back then).
And the money that was spent collectively on eBay by me and Mrs Gypsytree buying plait in dreads doesn’t even bare thinking about (Although, to give them credit, Mrs Gypsytree still wears them because she’s irritatingly unaged).
And now? Well, now to go with my standard dry & sort of brittle hair, I have a killer combo of the EDS making it more brittle and Gabapentin just making it fall out. There. In black & white. My defining feature is making a messy exit and I need to deal with it in a way I feel comfortable, and I want to get used to that way before its too noticeable…. ooh I don’t know, like asking for your wheelchair caster to be fixed because it’s not running smoothly & the reason for that is because there’s hair wound around the bearing plate. I mean seriously, wtf?
I’m not wholly sure what to make of this new development. I feel like it’s a bit vain to be fretting over my hair when I ought to be more concerned that my shoulder won’t stay in, or that my health insurance haven’t quite got around to sorting out the heart valve tests… none of this phases me, but going bald… won’t my brain get cold?
My choices are : to leave it and just go with it, but I feel self conscious as I seem to be shedding more than the cat which is gross; wear a wig, which I’m not wholly sure would look right although later on down the line I might, but I still have too much length in my real hair for that to work and bugger me how expensive??!?!; or finally, wear a headscarf.
I have a decent collection of scarves anyway that I use to keep modest at work (read hide cleavage) and also hide my neckbrace, so I did some research about different ways of wrapping your hair. I was keen to look as if I still have hair under there but didn’t want to opt for the hijab style covering (not for any anti-religious purposes, but more because I want my hair covered, not my neck). Eventually, I found Wrapunzel and their use of and tutorials on how to tie a tichel which is an orthodox Jewish head covering for married women (That’s now 3 religions I’ve encountered that encourage women to cover their hair). It appealed because of the elegant way the scarves were used, but also because of the focus on having a bun at the back which can be padded to make you look like you have more hair. It also needed to be easy enough for me to do without yanking my shoulder out again (like my over excited Uno! move on Saturday… That’s not what they meant by Uno Extreme apparently ), or simple enough for Mr Geek to wrap for me after he’s brushed it & stuck it in a sock bun as is our new routine.
This weekend was my first real venture out, and because of the positive. response from my lovely Mongooses, I’ve carried on and worn my coordinating tichels at school all week, including to a parents evening! I feel much more confident with my hair wrapped. In fact, people have commented that I look healthier this week. This could of course be the result of having spent the weekend in the company of amazing friends where I let go of all stress & bad stuff, but hiding my ever snapping locks in beautiful fabric can’t be hindering it.
Ok, so mainly I’m wearing the black one right now as it’s less conspicuous and having a bit of hair peeking out the front has warded off the majority of questions. Aside from the one young lady who yelled ‘do you have cancer?’ across the classroom. We had a chat about tact and dignity after that, but allowances can be made for being a bit of a knob when you’re 12.
There are definite upsides – any loose hair stays in the scarf, not on the floor; I can look healthier by adding colour; it actually protects my hair from breaking by supporting it; I can use coconut oil on my hair and I don’t look all lank and greasy; I don’t have to dye it mad colours, just choose a new scarf…
… of which there are a few more coming. I’ve ordered a set of plain coloured hijab scarves and under caps which help keep the tichel in place. Amazon is a treasure trove of stuff sometimes.
So, watch this space. I even have a zebra scarf…
Have you tried wrapping your hair? What style do you prefer? Do you have any tips?