Some of you may remember my slightly unhinged post some time back about being a frog. It was a pivotal moment for me in picking myself up mentally and assessing what was (is) important in life.
One part of that process was to walk away from things and people that either worsened or facilitated my self destructive thought processes. It was a conscious move on my part and in knowing that it would cause upset, it was not easy.
Walking away and choosing to adapt my thinking to a more stoic attitude (CBT does work once you’re ready for it to) altered every aspect of my life and marriage. I am changed. I enjoy being a frog. Being a princess sucked frogspawn.
One thing remains. And that is the nagging thought that those I chose to retire from believe I did so because I could not deal with their issues.
The truth is nothing so personal to them. This was my leap of faith. I consciously chose to jump forward and jumping is really hard when people attach bungee ropes to you when they themselves are rooted to the spot.
I do not wear my mental health badge with pride. Just like with a physical illness, I fought for a way to get better and banish it. This doesn’t mean I feel no empathy for those who do suffer. What I do believe in is grit and self determination. I do believe noone else can make you feel better other than yourself. Sometimes, just like a short course of antibiotics, the drugs do work. It’s bloody hard being a grown up. But,
being a frog made all the difference. My apparent lack of time for some people is actually born out of frustration that they are not ready to jump off the lily pad because the water really is lovely.
This did not, does not, nor will not ever define me.