Day Two – the Not Cambridge Diet

Day two and three are the worst I’m advised. Just keep drinking water. Right oh.

Morning – woke up hungry. Not interested in coffee, give me my shake! Half a shake later (I’m now making them with 200ml of water, 8 ice cubes and half measure of powder), I’m sated.

Get kids ready for school. LSH on lunchbox duty as I can’t bear to smell the food. LSH promptly makes himself a cheese omelette for breakfast. Bastard.

Sporty running friend arrives and we head out for a swim. I manage 20 mins of breast stroke before my back is screaming stop! No matter, there’s Powerhoop later!

Get back & have another half measure of strawberry foam protein yuck.


Get ready for Powerhoop class. Eat half a box of grazebox black pepper pistachios to prevent fainting in class.

Go to Powerhoop and discover that using a multicoloured hoop to tenderise the flesh on your waist is a very funny, if rather painful experience (photos of bruise belt to follow).

Arrive home. Drink another half ass flavoured shake.


Feel wobbly. Eat a babybel (60 cals, all protein).


Hate this diet.

Rest of nuts.

Go out to buy salad & collect the kids. Bloody hell I want to eat that salad now…

Go out to have nails done. Have a headache and feel awful. Seriously consider shoving my face in the family sized bag of M&Ms in the kitchen. Resist.

Make chicken salad with no tomatoes (they have carbs) with olive oil & balsamic creame topped with sunflower seeds.

Still hungry.

LSH asked if I want anything from the shop. I answer “bread, pasta, CHIPS”. He says no. He clearly doesn’t love me. He’s left me to die of potato deficiency while I put the kids to bed. I’m too knackered to even get cross at them for arsing about.

Go on without me followers. Tell people I made it through without the carbs. Tell my bread rolls children I love them. The second day was the hardest.

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